20 Forbidden Things For Draco Malfoy
by WhatTheHellIsThat
Summary: Draco is given a list entitled '20 Things That Draco Malfoy is Forbidden To Do But Probably Will Do Upon Reading This List' by his best friend, Blaise, and he is challenged to complete every task on the list, no matter what the consequences
1. Chapter 1

Draco looked down at the piece of parchment in his hand that Blaise Zabini had handed him in third hour. He smiled a devilishly handsome smile, and read it once more.

**20 things that Draco Malfoy is forbidden to do, but probably will do upon reading this list**

1. Draw a Dark Mark on your wrist with Sharpie

2. Tell Theodore Nott that he talks in his sleep, and that he shouldn't dream about doing such intimate things with the headmaster.

3. Get the job as the Quidditch commentator, and announce that Harry Potter has AIDs and that we all give him our sympathy.

4. Tell professor Snape that you have discovered a potion that can make your physical appearance all around better. When he asks what it is hand him a bottle of Shampoo.

5. Use as many magic-related pick up lines as possible within twenty minutes.

6. Tell as many girls as possible that you are terribly sad and only a kiss will make you happy. Kiss them. Afterwards when they ask why you were sad tell them that its because you have mono.

7. In the common room go up to Pansy Parkinson and tell her "Sit." with a straight face. After she sits tell her "Good girl!" and produce a dog biscuit from your pocket. Run like hell.

8. Ask Professor McGonagal 'if you can borrow her wig for Halloween' if she says no, or denies that it is a wig, say 'my father will hear about this'

9. Walk near Hermione Granger until she walks by a puddle of mud, point at the puddle and shout 'Merlin, Granger! You're bleeding!' Avoid getting a concussion from Potter or the Weasel.

10. Ask Professor McGonagal if she wants to see your 'secret tattoo' and wink as you say it.

11. Tell the first years that Potter is a vampire and he will suck their blood if they don't say 'All hail voldemort' every time they pass him in the hall.

12. Replace the Gryffindor Quidditch team's brooms with ordinary muggle cleaning brooms.

13. Write to Lucius and tell him that you are 'completely and utterly in love with Hermione Granger'. When he sends a howler ( which he definitely will) saying that she is a mudblood and he does NOT approve, give it to weasley and tell him its from his parents.

14. Use a love potion on Professor McGonagal (One of the super strong ones)

15. Snog someone (any girl will do) in Snape's potions closet. Make sure to keep it up until he opens the closet. Make some witty comeback as to why you were in there (I'm sure you can, you smart ass)

16. With all of the detentions you woud have by now, you might as well have some fun with it. Bring in a 'naughty' magazine (I know that Theo has some that you could steal) and as Professor Snape is Having you re-organize his bookshelf, pretend to find it in there and confront him with it.

17. Snog Ginny Weasley. Make sure the Ron Weasel sees. Be careful, Mate.

18. Get the job as the Quidditch commentator again and announce that I ,Blaise Zabini am single and open! (okay, mate, this one's more of a favor than something that belongs on the list)

19. In Muggle Studies ask what the internet is, and why there are a bunch of naked pictures of Pansy on it. (Again run like hell from Pansy as soon as class is over!)

20. ...I will tell you what number 20 is as soon as you finish all of the above. Good Luck!

Draco felt a rush of excitement as he tucked the parchment away in the pocket of his robes. This should be easy.

As the class slowly came to an end students poured out into the hallway, and Draco saw Blaise already awaiting him right outside of the door.

"You're not going to do it are you?" He asked, smiling.

" 'Course I am. And it'll be easy." Draco said, assuring the dark skinned boy who was smirking at him.

"Right. Well, good luck, Mate. I'll see you at lunch." He said, and before he turned to leave he handed a black Sharpie marker to Draco.

"And so it begins..." Draco murmured under his breath, as he pulled the sleeve of his robe up.

**A/N: REVIEWS PLEASE! Update soon if not tonight! I plan to be uploading frequently on this one, so please stick with it! Plenty of laughs on the way! Thanks for reading, I appreciate reviews greatly, and I will accept any critisism given!**


	2. Chapter 2

_1. Draw a Dark Mark on your wrist with Sharpie_

He had the Dark Mark memorized by heart. He knew he would one day have the real thing, and it terrified him, but in this much brighter situation it was a helpful thing.

He was a bit of a skilled artist, in a sense, and the final product turned out to look quite nice. He looked down at the Sharpie markings on his left wrist and was satisfied by what he saw, in a sick kind of way.

However staring down at his own wrist alone in the bathroom wasn't what Blaise wanted. He had to show this thing off.

He rolled up the sleeves of his robes, took a deep breath, and opened the door, stepping out into the crowded hallway.

Nobody noticed at first, of course, because generally people stared at Draco's face, not his wrist. He walked along seeming as casual as he could, toward his next class.

He scanned the other students faces, trying to tell if anyone had noticed. As he did this he spotted Potter, Weasley, and Granger walking along. Draco's and Harry's eyes met, and an idea flashed into Draco's mind. He raised his left arm and waved to the raven-haired boy. Harry at first seemed to be shocked just by the friendly gesture, but as he realized what he had just seen his eyes bugged out and his mouth formed an O.

The hall was nearly empty now, except for the four of them. Harry had reacted impulsively and drawn his wand and tackled Malfoy to the ground.

"You foul, evil little Death Eater!" He shouted. Forgetting that his wand was by his side he punched Draco in the jaw.

"Are you referring to this?" Draco asked, ignoring the pain in his jaw when he spoke. He held up his wrist for Harry to examine. He stared at it a moment before realizing that it was completely motionless.

"Its fake." He stated simply. He glared at Draco. "Why the hell-?...You are sick, Malfoy." Harry said as released Draco and stood up, walking back to Ron and Hermione, who looked as shocked as two people could be about the whole thing.

Draco stood up also, and spit a shockingly large amount of blood out of his mouth.

"Damnit, Potter! What the bloody hell was that for?" He shouted.

"Oh, I dunno, it might just be the fact that you had a _Dark Mark on your arm_!" He shouted back.

"What I have on my arm is my own damn business, Potter!" He retorted.

"_Merlin, Malfoy!_ Are you really that much of a prick?" Harry asked, shocked.

"My father will hear about this!" Draco said, spitting out more blood still.

"Good luck with that! I don't know if you realized this, but your father's in _Azkaban_!" Harry replied.

"At least I have a father!"

"At least my parents weren't cowards!"

"How dare you!" Draco said as he drew his wand and pointed it at Harry's chest. Harry did the same.

"_What on Earth are you doing, boys?" _ Said a woman's voice, and they simotaneously turned their heads to see Professor McGonagal rushing towards them with a stern look on her aged face.

As she turned to assess what they were doing, Draco remembered with a sinking feeling that his shirt sleeve was still rolled up to his elbow. He angled it away from her to conceal it, but it was too late.

McGonogal's eyes bugged out and she stared at Draco, muttering "...a Dark Mark...Oh Merlin, He's got a Dark Mark..."

Draco was doubting that he had a safe way to get out of this particular situation. He thought about the list once more, and an idea hit him.

"It was a joke. When I fell asleep last night the other boys drew it on my arm as a prank." He said innocently.

"Right. Well. I do request that you find your way to the lavatory at once and wash it off." She said, looking immensely relieved.

"Of course, Professor." Draco said obediently and as he turned to leave he could hear her scolding Potter for being out in the halls so far into a class period.

_Maybe this will be even easier than I thought... _Draco pondered as he found his was to the lavatory. _After all, I'm a Malfoy, and Malfoys always get what they want..._


	3. Chapter 3

_2. Tell Theodore Nott that he talks in his sleep, and that he shouldn't dream about doing such intimate things with the headmaster._

This one seemed far too easy to Draco. He does this sort of thing all the time, list or no list. There was no significance to this, really. It was apparent to Draco that the list worked such a way that the tasks would slowly grow harder and more difficult to achieve without getting expelled. But this particular task seemed quite boring.

It was about 5:00 in the morning, an hour before Draco would usually wake up on a day with classes. He hopped out of bed, and yawned. It was far too early in the morning for Draco's liking. All the same, he was slightly excited for what he was about to do. Causing other people humiliation was one of his favorite pass-times.

He walked over to the bed in which Theodore Nott was sleeping soundly. He usually didn't usually get up until around 7:30.

"Nott. Nott! _Theodore!_" Draco whisper-shouted, as he shook the boy until his eyes finally opened.

"Bloody Hell, Draco!" He said as he glanced at the clock on the wall.

"There better be a damn good reason for waking me up so early!" He hissed.

"You were keeping me up!" Draco snarled back at him.

"Oh really? How is that?", Theodore asked, unbelievingly.

"You talk in your sleep!" Draco said.

"Well sorry I can't control what I'm doing when I'm unconscious, can I?" He asked. Draco smiled to himself. This was it.

"No, I suppose you can't. But if you wanted my opinion, I don't think that you should dream about doing such intimate things with the headmaster." Draco said nonchalantly. Even in the darkness of the early morning he could see the other boy blush. He could also hear quiet snickering. Good. That meant that Blaise and the other boys were awake, and had heard the conversation. Theodore had also noticed this.

"But I- There's no way- I don't...Go to hell, Malfoy!" He said as the other boys' giggling broke out into full blown laughter.

The last thing Draco saw before he slipped back into bed, was Theodore covering his face with a pillow. As he started to drift off again he decided that task number two had gone successfully.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Thank you all so very much for the wonderful reviews! I love criticism as I find it very helpful! Enjoy!**

_3. Get the job as the Quidditch commentator, and announce that Harry Potter has AIDS and that we all give him our sympathy._

This one should be fun, Draco thought as he made his way to the Headmaster's office. He had waited several days, until a match with Gryffindor and Hufflepuff took place. Even for Blaise's stupid list he wouldn't miss playing in a Slytherin match.

He was soon standing before the gargoyle, which asked him for the password. He realized that this was the only flaw in his plan. He would have to guess.

"Umm...Harry Potter?" He asked. To his surprise the Gargoyle gestured for him to proceed.

"Figures." Draco muttered under his breath as he was lifted up to the office.

"Mr. Malfoy. Enter." He heard the old man say. He opened the door and walked in.

"What brings you to my office today? Hexing more first years?" Dumbledore asked looking rather exasperated.

"As a matter of fact, no. And that was self-inflicted!" Draco defended himself.

"I'm sure. So what _does_ bring you here then?" Dumbledore asked.

"I want to commentate on today's game. " Draco stated simply.

"Alright have fun." The aged man said smiling at Draco.

"Really? That easy?", Draco asked.

"Yes, it seems that Lee Jordan has had a most unfortunate injury and can not make it to the game...You wouldn't have anything to do with that, would you?" Dumbledore asked, giving Draco an annoyingly suspicious look.

Draco made a _hmph_ noise and glared at the headmaster.

"I am offended by that accusation!" He said, and as he turned to exit the office he smiled to himself.

Two hours later the game was about to begin. Draco stood where Lee Jordan usually would.

With a sudden noise, Madame Hooch blew the whistle and the players kicked off into the air.

"They're flying now... People are throwing things at each other...Slytherin is much better at this..." Draco started. He had never realized how fast paced the game was until he was expected to narrate it.

"Somebody knock a Gryffindor off!...Sorry Professor...Oh look Potter's seen the snitch." He announced. He decided that if he didn't say it soon Blaise would get impatient.

"Fellow, students I would like to take this time to announce that Harry Potter has AIDS and we would all like to give him our sympathy, and we hope he lives a full happy life. " Draco said as genuinely as he could, and the audience erupted in gasps. Harry had paused right in pursuit of the Snitch. His face turned completely red. Draco tried was trying as hard as he could to contain his laughter, when he noticed something odd. Potter seemed to be turning his broom around.

"Oh, bloody hell..." Draco muttered as he realized what was happening. Harry was flying as fast as possible in his direction. Draco tried in vain to protect his face with his arms, as Harry crashed into him and tackled him to the ground. Before harry could do anything Draco grabbed his want and shouted "Eat Slugs!"

Potters face turned positively green. Draco was started to think that this was probably not the best spell to use, as Harry was still on top of him.

With a sickening _Bleh_ sound, a large slimy slug was produced from Harry's mouth and fell right onto Draco's face.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Again thank you all so much for the reviews! Its what makes me keep writing! :) I've decided to make this kind of a dramione pairing, because I've had it suggested several times, and I do like the pairing, so what the heck! It will still be mostly humor-based, though. If you have ANY thoughts, opinions, suggestions, or questions, let me know! Enjoy!**

_4. Tell professor Snape that you have discovered a potion that can make your physical appearance all around better. When he asks what it is hand him a bottle of Shampoo._

This would be the first direct insult to a professor on the entire list, and Draco was a bit nervous. He had washed his face for several minutes after the slug incident, and now he was combing through his hair. Oh, how he despised that arrogant Potter.

After checking himself in the mirror of his dormitory one last time, he turned and started making his way to the dungeons.

He wouldn't have been so nervous if it had been any other professor in the entire school. But, no, it just _had _ to be the _one_ professor who actually had a shred of respect for Draco.

He was soon right outside of Snape's classroom and he could see the professor sitting at his desk, grading papers.

"Come in, Mister Malfoy." He drawled. Draco took a deep breath and entered, walking with his head high and back straight, like always.

"And to what do I owe the... pleasure?" Snape asked.

"I am a genius." Draco began, with his usual smirk across his handsome features.

"And may I ask why, Malfoy?" The professor asked, showing no signs of interest.

"I have discovered a potion..."

"Yes, many people have done so." Snape said, unimpressed.

"It is a potion that has extraordinary powers." Draco went on, ignoring the remark.

"Which are...?"

"To improve one's physical appearance!" Draco said, proudly.

"And what exactly is it?" Asked Snape, his attention finally being won over.

Draco hesitated for a moment, then pulled out a white bottle labeled 'Shampoo' from behind his back and set it on the desk.

The professor glared at Draco, once realizing the degrading joke.

"Mister Malfoy..." He started.

"Yes?" Draco asked, contemplating if it would be better to just run from the room.

"Your Father will hear about this."

And with that Draco turned and left the room, at a quick pace. He was making his way down the corridor, staring at the floor, when he rammed into something, and fell to the floor, realizing that it was a _someone_ that he had run into.

"Eww. Granger! What are you doing?" He asked, repulsed, as he stood up and straightened his robes.

"Aren't you going to be a gentleman, and help me up?" Hermione asked, doubting her own question, as she stood up also.

"Not someone like you." Draco stated.

"Meaning?"

"Meaning that your mud is blood...Er- no I mean your blood is mud." Draco said.

"What are you? Dr. Suess?" She asked, glaring right back at him.

"Granger, what the bloody hell is a Dr. Suess? I swear, you belong in St. Mungo's." Draco said, sneering at her.

"Just like you belong in Azkaban." She remarked. Draco was shocked that she had the nerve to insult him. Of all people, insulted by a _mudblood_.

"How dare you! My father will h-...Nevermind." He said, and with that he continued down the long corridor, leaving behind a slightly confused Hermione Granger. He was just about to turn the corner, when an idea hit him. He turned back to the girl and thought, _who better to be a subject for task number five, than Hermione Granger_...


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Okay, I am soooo sorry! I know I haven't updated in a really long time! My family just went on vacation to Nevada. So anyways, here it its, Number Five! I know that a lot of these you've probably all heard of before, but I had trouble thinking of new ones. I must give credit to this site also; ****.**** Thank you all for the reviews, and for favoriting the story! I will try to update frequently! Enjoy! **

_5. Use as many magic-related pick up lines as possible within twenty minutes._

Draco turned to look at the girl making her way through the corridor. He was indulged in inner conflict. How fun it would be to mess with the well-deserving mudblood! But, if she spoke of it, it would be the most reputation-shattering gossip to ever infect the halls of Hogwarts for him, even worse then when word got around that the filthy mudblood had punched him in third year. Oh the audacity of it all! How was it that she could cause so many problems for him, when she was in such a lower-class of wizard!

Hesitantly he pursued her, still somewhat undecided. He soon caught up to her and fell in pace right beside her.

"Malfoy. What do you want now?" She asked, showing no effort to hide her annoyance. Draco looked down at his watch. It was 4:17 P.M. The twenty minutes started now.

"Granger. Interested in making some magic together? My wand is at the ready." He said, smirking at his own cleverness. She stopped in her tracks.

"_What exactly is that supposed to mean, Malfoy?_"

"Aren't you supposed to be a smart one? I'm sure you can figure it out." He sneered.

"Wha-?" Hermione looked hopelessly confused.

"That's right. You don't even have to say "Lumos" to turn me on." He said.

"Draco-"

"-_Malfoy-"_

_"Malfoy!_ What exactly are you playing at?" Hermione asked, seeming outraged.

"Well, Granger, I'm not wearing an invisibility cloak, but do you think I could still visit your restricted section tonight?" He said with a wink.

"Malfoy! Th-that's...repulsive!" She said as her face turned bright red.

"Hey I'm just saying. One night with me and they'll be calling you _Moaning_ Myrtle." Draco felt quite proud of his brain at this moment.

"You're creeping me out! What are you doing?" Hermione shouted, quickening her pace down the hall. He followed, while he checked his watch. 4:22.

"Well, let's just say I may need some Felix Felicis, because I'm _trying to get lucky_."

"_Draco Lucius Malfoy!-"_

"How the hell do you know my middle name-"

"You tell me what kind of sick game you're playing at! Just what exactly are you proposing?"

"Hmm... I dunno... maybe Hippogriff style?" He said looking thoughtful.

"You sicken me." Hermione said.

"Granger, Have you been using the Petrificus Totalus spell? Because you've made me stiff."

"Disgusting."

"I'd like to get my basilisk into your chamber of secrets."

"Repulsive."

"You are like a bottle of Skele-Gro: You're growing me a bone."

"_Malfoy! Stop!" _She shouted walking even faster. He checked his watch just a few more minutes.

"You look like you'd be a good Quidditch player. Want to ride my broomstick?"He said. He was starting to run out of pick-up lines. He had only been at it for seventeen minutes. Oh well. What Blaise doesn't know can't hurt him.

"Well, as lovely as this has been, being in the presence of a mudblood may get me sick, so I will leave now. Bye." Draco said, leaving behind the most confused and horrified Hermione Granger.


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Thanks for the reviews! I really hope you enjoy this chapter! I must admit that I had writer's block during this, so personally I don't think its as good, but I tried my best! Pleasse enjoy!**

_6. Tell as many girls as possible that you are terribly sad and only a kiss will make you happy. Kiss them. Afterwards when they ask why you were sad tell them that its because you have mono._

This one should be fun, Draco thought, as he stared at the list in the early morning light. He had felt a great satisfaction in crossing off the first five tasks, and he wanted to get started with number six.

He didn't want to snog too many girls in one day, because last time that happened it blew up in his face. He would shoot for at least three, though. Starting with Parkinson. An easy one, for she practically throws herself at him.

After a quick shower, dressing, doing his hair and brushing his teeth, he was heading for the Great Hall. He sat at the same spot of the Slytherin Table that he had been sitting at for years now. On his left was Blaise. On his right, sat Pansy already deep into conversation with Millicent Bullstrode. Across from him were Crabbe and Goyle. Theodore Nott and several other Slytherin's had to get a seat wherever they could among the group.

Pansy was the first to notice his presence, of course, and she cut off from the conversation mid-sentence. Draco then put on his 'sad face'. This was actually something he was unaccustomed to. He was an expert at hidding his emotions.

"Draco. What's wrong? You look... miserable!" Pansy said looking deeply concerned. The other Slytherins seemed to be suspicous. Even they knew something was out of the norm. Blaise, of course knew perfectly well what was happening.

"I am terribly miserable as a matter of fact..." Draco said. The other Slytherins now knew that something was up. It was uncharecteristic of Draco to ever show his feelings... but to_ admit _to them...No way!

"Well what's wrong?" Pansy asked. Of course she would be the only one dim-witted enough to not notice anything unusual was taking place.

"Something terrible! And I think there's only one thing that can make it better..." Draco said. This was awfully dramatic, and by this time his fellow Slytherins had decided that he must be pulling some sort of prank, and they kept their mouths shut, for fear of ruining it.

"Well what do you need?" Pansy asked. Draco stared into her eyes, slightly nervous for what he was about to do. It was so _cheesy_ and even more uncharacteristic of him. But he had to do it... for the list.

"_Your kiss_." He said and with that he leaned forward and placed his lips on Pansy's. He had kissed her many times before. They had been an on-and-off relationship last year. He personally thought she was a terrible kisser. He really didn't even like her all that much. She was far too clingy. But she was also extraordinarily easy.

After a few seconds they parted. Pansy was red in the face and looked shocked. The other Slytherins looked hopelessly confused.

"Draco... wow..." Pansy said, regaining her ability to speak. "So... Why were you sad, anyway?" She asked looking curious. Draco smirked.

"I just found out that I have mono..." Draco said. And as soon as the words came from his mouth he flinched, expecting any sort of physical pain.

_SLAP!_

The whole Great Hall quieted down, and stared. Draco opened his eyes to see Pansy bringing down her hand. Draco touched his face, which was stinging in pain, and he could hear everybody muttering about him.

As collected and calm as he could be, he stood up and walked out of the Great Hall, leaving behind a furious Pansy, and a Blaise trying to control his giggling.

By the time that third period was out, he had two more battle wounds. A bruise on the upper part of his left arm (Damn, he didn't know girls could punch so hard!), and a bruise on his right shin. The two girls had been Daphne Greengrass, and Millicent Bullstrode. Both were girls that were fairly easy to kiss.

He had successfully made his personal goal of three girls, but he felt that he could do at least one more, as his injuries weren't all that severe. And he knew just the girl that he wanted to screw with.

He went to the library first. He was sure she would be there, since she practically lived there. And this was proved true, as he spotted her sitting alone at a table near the back.

"Granger!" He shouted. As she looked up and made eye contact with him, she immediately blushed, remembering the last time they had spoken.

"What do you want Malfoy?" She asked, obviously not wanting to be in this situation.

"...Hermione..." He mumbled as he sat next to her. The name felt strange coming from his mouth, and he swore to himself never to speak it again. She looked posotively shocked that he would use her first name.

"What?" She asked, regaining her composure.

"It's just... you were the only person I thought to come to..." He trailed off.

"What are you talking about? And for Merlin's sake, why do you look so miserable?" She asked, curiously.

"There is _one_ thing that could make me happier..." He said dreamily. And with that he leaned forward and met her lips with his own. She froze in shock. Not responding to his lips at all, but not having the sense to escape. Her mouth was slightly open and Draco took entrance into his mouth. No matter what Hermione might think of him there was no denying that he was a great kisser. After a few more seconds Draco leaned back into his chair, away from her, feeling disgusted with himself. _A mudblood. He had kissed a mudblood._

"Malfoy... What... What the hell was..." Hermione stuttered. "What was that for? And why were you so miserable? Explain yourself!" She finally managed to say.

"I was sad because... well Madame Pomfrey just told me that I have mono!" He said, and instantly flinched, remembering from third year that this particular girl could pack quite a punch.

But when the pain didn't come he opened his eyes to see a confused Hermione.

"Why are you lying?" She asked.

"What do you mean?" Draco replied, just as confused as her.

"Well its obvious that you don't have a severe sore throat. Your voice is too normal. You don't have a high fever, because in this weather especially, Madame Ponfrey would have told you to stay in bed. You don't seem weakened or fatigued in the slightest bit, and lastly, symptoms such as these start four to six weeks after you actually get the virus. During that time period we were away for the spring holiday. I doubt you were snogging anyone at the Malfoy Manor." She explained. _Damn you Granger,_ Draco thought to himself_, you are too smart for your own good._

"And that only leaves one more question..." Hermione went on. "WHY THE HELL DID YOU KISS ME?"


	8. Chapter 8

A/N: Thanks for the reviews! I love you all, strangers on the internet! I have exciting news! First of all, I am getting a beta! She is a talented author, and my amazing friend, Zutarain123. If you're into Avatar: The Last Airbender or Ouran High School Host Club, then go check her out. Secondly, there is news that there will be a Very Potter Musical THREEQUEL! There is an article about it on Hypable, here's the link; .com/starkid/2011/08/28/starkid-confirms-a-very-potter-threequel-in-the-works/ . If you haven't seen A Very Potter Musical, or Sequel, I highly suggest watching them. They are hilarious and will satisfy your Post-Potter Depression. They're all on Youtube. These next two chapters will be kind of short, because the tasks are kind of get-to-the-point. But I should have both of them up today/tonight. If not, then definitely tomorrow. And by the way, I actually have no idea what you are or aren't allowed to bring to Hogwarts as a pet (I haven't gotten my letter from Hogwarts yet). Sorry for the incredibly long Authors note! Enjoy!

7. In the common room go up to Pansy Parkinson and tell her "Sit." with a straight face. After she sits tell her "Good girl!" and produce a dog biscuit from your pocket. Run like hell.

Draco decided to wait for the next day to do this one. Harassing Pansy twice in one day, although as fun as it may be, might backfire with some consequences.

So the next morning he woke up and proceeded with his usual morning routine. Around lunch he made up his mind to stop procrastinating and get the job done.

Most Slytherins usually left lunch period early to go relax in the common room. This was when Draco would put his plan into action.

Acquiring a dog biscuit had been probably the most challenging part of this task. For, you weren't allowed to have dogs at Hogwarts. As far as Draco knew, you could only have owls, cats, toads, and rodents. He had asked loads of people if they had any, and had probably come across as quite the idiotic bloke in doing so. Finally, the search ended with Theodore Nott. Merlin knows what he was doing with a box of dog biscuits.

So there it was safely stored in the pocket of his robes, as he walked to the Slytherin common room. Pansy was chatting a mile a minute to Daphne Greengrass, who wasn't showing any effort in hiding the fact that she didn't give a damn about whatever Pansy was saying to her.

Upon seeing Draco arrive, Pansy immediately stood up to greet him. They had made up last night, when Draco told her he had been under the Confundus charm (Pansy could be very dimwitted sometimes). He doubted she even knew what the charm did, so he was let off the hook rather easily.

He looked at her face as she greeted him and thought of the many insults she received daily about it resembling a pug's face. Of course, that was the whole point of task number seven.

"Pansy..." Draco said in a serious voice.

"Yes, Draco?" She asked. Draco gestured to the leather couch where she had just been sitting a moment ago.

"Sit." He said, in his usual dark and serious demeanor. She immediately backed into the couch and sat awaiting his conversation.

Without a second thought, Draco grabbed the dog biscuit from his pocket and let it drop onto her lap.

"Good girl." He said, smirking.

The moment Pansy realized the joke, she lunged. Luckily Draco was already running from the common room, shoving people out of his way as he went along. He dashed, out of the room, Pansy right behind him.

Down the corridor, they ran, and Draco's fear for his life intensifying with every second, along with Pansy's anger.

"DRACO LUCIUS MALFOY, I'M GONNA CASTRATE YOU WITH A WOODEN SPOON!"

And with that, task number seven was complete.


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: Its short, and I personally don't like it all that much, but perhaps you will enjoy it. So, yes, I've been doing a lot of oneshots lately, because I won't start another series until I'm done with this. But once I am done with it I have some gorgeous plot ideas... and just as a warning now my favorite curse is the cruciatus curse, and I like to use it in stories. A lot. I guess I'm just a freak like that... Anyways, Review please! ENJOY!**

_8. Ask Professor McGonagal 'if you can borrow her wig for Halloween' if she says no, or denies that it is a wig, say 'my father will hear about this'_

It was two weeks later, and Draco remained uncastrated, and the only anxiety that remained from the last task's event was the occasional nightmare about wooden spoons. But, that aside, school life had returned to normal after Draco had bought an expensive necklace for Pansy from Hogsmeade, and apologized to her as sincerely as he could. She had immediately gone back to being completely and hopelessly infatuated with him, which wasn't an entirely good thing, either.

Draco had decided that it was now time to progress to task number eight, which he was looking forward to quite a bit.

McGonogal always had been Draco's least favorite professor. It was obvious the way she favored Gryffindors, and she seemed to have something against Draco in particular. He had absolutely no problem when it came to offending her for the task's sake.

He made his way through the corridors at a quick pace, and, once reaching the classroom, knocked loudly on the door.

"Come in." The stern voice from behind the door said. Draco pushed open the door and entered the classroom.

"Yes, Mr. Malfoy?" She asked reluctantly, disappointed that it was him of all people.

"Professor, I was wondering if I could ask a favor of you..." He started.

"What is it that you need, ... tutoring?" She said and smirked slightly, which irritated Draco.

"Surely, Professor, you must realize that an excellent student like me has no use for such things!" Draco replied.

"Well tell me what it is that you want, so I can return to what I was doing. These essays don't grade themselves you know..." She tapped her fingers impatiently against the desk.

"Well, as you may know, Halloween is approaching..." Draco said tenatively.

"I wasn't aware that you participated in the Muggle Holiday..."

"Of course I do! Its... tradition...for... Anyways, I was wondering if..." He trailed off.

"Spit it out, Malfoy!" She said, not hiding her imaptience.

"If I could borrow your wig for my costume!" He said excitedly, as an evil grin came over his face.

"Wha- How could- Its not... Its not a wig! And I assure you that the request itself is completely inappropriate!" She scolded, red in the face. Draco glared at her.

"My father will hear about this." He threatened and he turned and exited the room.


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: I'm back. Maybe? Kind of? How long has it been? Three or four years? Damn. I am so sorry. Does anyone still want to read this? Or have you all grown up? Started families and careers? Alright I'm getting carried away; it's only been a few years. But anyways, needless to say, I got busy with life. But now here I am re-entering a Potter phase. Just so you beautiful people know, I have dance nearly every day (it feels like I'm at the studio more than my own house), some pretty tough classes, and friends that demand attention and silly things like that keeping me busy. But I recently watched the last Harry potter movie and cried my eyes out. I feel like I need this part of my childhood back. Also I'm kind of worried that now that I'm a few years older I've lost my touch, but let's just see how this goes.**

**Enjoy!**

9_. Walk near Hermione Granger until she walks by a puddle of mud, point at the puddle and shout 'Merlin, Granger! You're bleeding!' Avoid getting a concussion from Potter or the Weasel._

This task made Draco more than a little nervous. The previous tasks that he had performed had caused Hermione to regard him with confusion and even more hostility than what was usually present. And now as he wandered around outside of the castle, he was certain that this time she would repeat her violent action from when they were third-years. And with a shudder he realized that she had probably grown even stronger.

It was growing closer to winter and the cold air caused Draco even more discomfort. Just as he turned to go inside, telling himself that he would have to complete this task another day, he spotted none other than Hermione granger, accompanied by Potter and Weasley of course. They seemed to be heading in the direction of the gamekeeper's small excuse for a house. This was Draco's chance. He quickened his pace to catch up with the trio, and was soon trailing behind them. They were talking noisily about subjects that Draco found entirely uninteresting. He continued walking behind them for a few minutes, until finally the trio came a across a large puddle of mud, and began to trudge through it. Draco seized the opportunity.

"Merlin, Granger!" He exclaimed, feigning surprise. The trio quickly turned, shocked at the voice. Potter even drew his wand.

"Malfoy? What the hell are you doing?! How long have you been following us?!" Potter spat angrily.

"I wouldn't worry about something so trivial, Potter. Can't you see that one of your beloved friends is having a crisis at the moment?" Draco said, motioning to the bewildered girl. _Blimey_, he thought, _I'm only on task number nine and I'm sure Granger thinks I've gone mad._

"What on earth are you talking about, Malfoy?" questioned Weasley.

"Merlin! Are you people blind? Look, Granger's bleeding all over!" Draco proclaimed as he pointed to the mud that they were all standing in.

There were precisely three seconds of silence as the three minds made sense of the joke. The next thing Draco could register was that he was on the muddy ground with two teenage boys on top of him throwing fists wherever they could land. Soon after, he noticed a pair of female hands grabbing the redhead and pulling him out of the chaos. And finally the pain started to set in, especially on his face. The blows from the bloody fists were still hammering away, percussively coming into contact with his face. Emerging from his daze, Draco threw himself off of the ground, and onto his opponent, so that he was positioned on top of Potter. He started throwing hard punches, shattering the Chosen One's glasses all over his already-scarred face. At this point he noticed that there was quite an impressive amount of blood dripping down from where his chin had been busted open. His punches slowed as he became lightheaded and dizzy. In the few moments before his consciousness left him, he swore he heard the unmistakable voice of Hermione Granger saying, "How strange, Malfoy. I could have sworn you said _I_ was the one bleeding all over!"

**A/N: I know it's short. And I honestly have no idea if it was good or bad, so it would be helpful if you would let me know. Please and thank you. Oh here's a fun fact by the way, face wounds really do bleed quite a bit. Last year I was out with some friends at about one in the morning and I busted my chin open on a playground slide and started bleeding all over and got really dizzy from losing so much blood. Luckily a friend had some liquid bandage in her car. But I still ended up in the emergency room, getting stitches. Be careful, kids. And review please! Let me know if I should still even bother with this!**


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